When I turn someone down I do that "it's not you; it's me" but way of "I'm mentally and emotionally unstable. You can do so much better, so go do it!"
This shit is just not going to happen in my lifetime. I'm very conflicted. I want intimacy, and maybe I want sex. It's just come across someone I feel like I can trust and they aren't interested. Yet, all these ugly, morally bankrupt homebums wanna fuck me. I've been in the same shelter for 3 months, now, and some of these shelter bitches think I'm trying to steal their "partners". I've made it clear I'm just here to party and get something together so I can get out of the shelter and stay in the area for a while, or if that doesn't work out I go to a different state. I don't know where in there says "I want to fuck your guy/chick/whomever." What's really bad is some of the homebums think I want them or they want me. Someone I just tried to open up to turned out to be MARRIED. Spouse is in prison, but still. Married is married, and I don't do that.
I don't want to be old running around like a dog in heat, the way I am now. I wish I were asexual and I didn't have to have these feelings. It's really nothing but trouble.
Now is the time that I'm thankful I went to Albuquerque and already learned some of this lesson is relation to the married person, but when am I going to get over this sexual attraction thing? It really hurts more than it helps.